Question:
I have an additional problem with myMother who has multi infarct dementia.She has been in a nursing home for three years and is at the stage of not knowing or understanding most ofwhat is going on around her.Sometimes she eats some ofher meals at other times refuses food.It is very difficultto have any conservation with her as she does not understandwhat most words mean.The problem is that she has developed a squamous cell carcinomaon her face and it needs treatment.We have been with her twiceto have it removed as a day case at our local hospital, but itnow needs laser treatment as it is growing so fast. Shewill have to stay in hospital for this treatment.When shehad these two previous treatments it upset her tremendously.For about a week after she started talking alot more but none ofit made sense. She kept calling for her Mum,and also kepttalking to her Daddy as if he was there. She would sayhello Daddy to everyone, and would see him all over herroom.She also kept on about babies,she would see them onthe bed,on the wardrobe, on the floor.How am I going toput her through all this,she will not understand what ishappening and will be greatly distressed. My Sister andI have being saying no to this treatment,but this horriblelooking thing is getting so big something will have to bedone.

What's your thoughts???

Answer: is there no way to negotiate an arrangement with the hospitalwhereby they sedate her and do whatever they have to do in one go asan out patient, and then release her to recover at the nursing home?

Hospitals are not equipped to care for dementia patients (I could tellyou stories about my poor MIL in the orthopedic ward during her secondhip break). As you note, it also will be very confusing and upsettingfor her.

Have you tried talking options with the nursing home staff tocoordinate something with the cancer treatment staff? I would thinkSOMETHING could be worked out that would be better than putting her inhospital. After all, even with major surgery, they often kick you outpretty quick. Could they not make some accomodation for her given thatshe has professional help available to her in the home who can helpwith whatever special care or observation she might need posttreatment? Even if you had to lug her to hospital daily, that might bebetter than checking her in for overnight stays.

I don't know enough about Multi Infarct Dementia to know if it's differentfrom AD in respect to recognizing LO's, but I do know from caregiving 2 ADLO's that if they live long enough they don't recognize anyone or for thatmatter anything.

AD is a curse of a disease. I've been reading on the cancer support grouplately, and I read constant suggestions that LO's spend their last daystogether reminiscing, etc. and remembering the good times together. I wouldhave given anything to have been able to do that with my mother.