Question:
Dementia is taking my mom. I really need some support to get through this.?

In April my mom suffered a series of mini strokes and a mild heart attack. She had been living alone and doing fine (82 yrs old). The hospital wanted rehab because she was weak on one side. After a week in a nursing home she started hallucinating that people who have died were there. (my dad died a year ago). She has a blocked carotid artery and has since been diagnosed with Parkinsons. She is hallucinating such nightmarish things now that it is so scary because she is terrified at what she sees. She is always talking about her family being murdered, or shot in the head, a hit list on her family, etc. She can no longer walk on her own and is so scared she tries to get up to help whoever she is hallucinating about and ends of falling. This week she fell twice. I feel so bad for her because in her mind she is living this nightmare. Any suggestions on how I can comfort her. When I try to explain everything is o.k. I get a blank stare.

Can anyone share with me some ideas???

Answer: It is difficult when someone you love gets to the point where they lose the memory and thoughts that once sustained them and brought them happiness. You also have lost the Mom that you knew and she is replaced with a stranger in the body of your Mom. I believe there are medications that can make her thoughts less frightening and you need to ask your doctor about them. They probably need to put up rails or tie her to the bed so she can't get up and fall again. You don't want her to break a hip and make things worse. You might try to bring a CD player into her room and play some soft and soothing music. Sometimes that can divert the thoughts she is having and maybe bring her some comfort. When one has dementia, I am not sure that they have an understanding of what you are telling them and sometimes they don't even recognize that you are their family. It is like having a death of someone you knew and loved before they are actually gone and it is more difficult than anyone can possibly know unless they have experienced it.