Question:
As to seeing people in later stage dementia, someone here mentionedrecently a support group (in-person, not online) specifically for caregivers forLOs in early-stages AD. I think that's a very good idea - the LOs of thepeople at the local AD support group meeting are all considerably more advancedthan my father's dementia, and I think if I had not been reading thisgroup as well as researching elsewhere, it would have been enormously disturbingto listen to people describing their caregiving for much more advancedpersons - an elderly woman talking about having to tie her husband's handsto his wheelchair to keep him from wrestling with her, cheerfully showingthe bruises to her arms from the struggle; others talking matter-of-factlyabout a spouse or parent who can no longer speak coherently.

What's your opinions???

Answer: 1. Some relatives of the newly diagnosed are in denial. They can't relate tothe more advanced symptoms, and it fuels their thinking of "this is amistake." But in a room full of people sharing the same early signs, therebecomes a sense of "oh, she's not just eccentric. She has a disease." Theharder truths will come soon enough, and I suspect there are enough newbiecaregivers who are savvy enough to warn others of the necessary legalpreparations for the future.

2. Even in this very accepting forum (thank you all!), I sometimes feelembarassed to raise the frustrations I am having with my still-early stagesmother. Her forgetfulness and scatteredness pale in comparison toincontinence and sundowning. My frustration and fear are still real though,and coupled with those horrible early stages doubts of "Am I imaginingthis?Am I wishing this on her? How *dare* I tell my mother what to do as ifshe were a child?" You have all been very accepting of my baby steps downthis nasty journey, but there are some who are more bashful than I. Theycould perhaps be supported better in a more stage-specific community oftheir peers.

3. My dad is scared to death of what will come later. I fear that exposinghim to the day-to-day realities of advanced AD too soon will cause him toshut down and refuse to do what he can at this stage. He *should* be herprimary caregiver, not me, for as long as possible. (I have no compunctionabout stepping in when needed, but now she is more comfortable with him.) Heneeds the support of others who are also in these first stages of adjustmentuntil he gains more confidence in his caregiving abilities. He has neverprovided physical care for anyone in his life, so he is understandablyanxious.