Question:
my father has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. He was not told of thediagnosis and since he is in early stages, should he be told of the diagnosis?My wife and I have agonized over this for weeks now and are not sure how toproceed. Any help for us???

We are very in need of this information. So give us some suggestions or how to find out such information for this problems.

Answer: Only you can answer these questions for yourself - you know your fatherbest. But if your father is in the early stages, then he mostly is able tounderstand and digest some basic facts.In my situation, my MIL has vascular dementia. She's always been theperson to deny that *she* has problems: it's always the other person.However, she has actively sought information from me at times when she isthinking clearly and pondering her condition and the future. She knowssomething is wrong (although she will call us liars at times). But shewon't ask my husband (her only child) because I think that there is toomuch emotion between them, plus my husband is not the most patient personwith his mother. (Perhaps your father might discuss this with an old friend- might be an idea to give a close friend of your father information aboutAD in case it comes up)

I asked her first if she really wanted to know about her type of dementia.Then I told her some basic things: e.g. her brain isn't functioning as wellas it used to because of the vascular dementia. Gradually it will getworse, until she won't be able to remember how to do some things like 'howto make a cup of tea' or 'how to shower'. The doctor has said that for hertype of vascular dementia, that there isn't much that can be done, exceptto keep active and exercise.I used a neutral voice, and continually watched her to make sure I wasn'toverloading her (her eyes glaze over and look away if she can't handle it).

I definitely did not tell her about the later stages. There's no point infrightening her. Part of the point in telling her these things while shewas in a cogent state was to talk about the future: which home she wantedto go to, etc. But I emphasis that my MIL wanted to know about hercondition. I only talk to her about it when I think she can handle it, andI really only tell her basic information. There are times when she isupset about forgetting things,that we can say 'the vascular dementia madeyou forget'. This is so she doesn't blame herself or others, which shewill do. But that works with my MIL: your father is a different person andyou'll probably find that something different works for him.