Question:
Can anyone give me some tips on dealing with dementia?

My mother in law is showing signs of the onset of dementia...she is very close to us and we are very aware of her daily life. I want 'real life' tips on how to deal with her forgetfulness...I do not care for textbook tips right now, hence the reason I am in Y!A and not at the doctor's office (again).

When dealing with forgetfullness of past conversations, do you remind the person you have had this conversation before or just pretend you this is the first time you have discussed it. If she misplaces her purse, do you just say, "oh here it is" and not make a big 'to-do' about it?

Answer: First, if she hasn't had her medications evaluated by her primary care physician, get this done. Take her and all of her meds to her doc to find out if any of the meds or combination of meds could be contributing to her dementia. This is more common that you might think. Some elderly people go to multiple doctors who don't coordinate their meds.

I don't think that you need to tell her that she's repeating herself. It won't do any good, and it will just frustrate both of you. As far as lost items are concerned, of course, you should help her find what she's lost. I've found it very helpful to take inventory of my mom's possessions before we go out. That way I can gently remind her to pick up her purse, coat, etc. so that she doesn't leave anything behind.

Sometimes with forgetfulness comes some paranoia that people are stealing from her. I think that this is also a part of the frustration of dementia. She doesn't believe that she could forget or misplace so many things. Again, helping her find out where the missing items are seems to settle her down.

If your mother-in-law must take medication, it is helpful to get daily pill minders so that you guys can organize her med for her on a weekly basis. As long as she knows what day of the week it is, she should be able to keep up with her medications more easily and efficiently.