Question:
I am worried about my mother, whois primary caregiver for my Granfather who is 85 and has AD. She is a nurseon the graveyard-shift at a local hospital, and watches him during the dayand on her off nights, my father and my wife watch during the day and whenshe is at work, but she carries most of the load. Recently he beganbuilding fires under the kitchen table and other places thinking they werehis heater, he wanders off and gets lost easily, and to me the worst of ithe sees men that aren't there and thinks they are trying to kill him. Welive in a wooded,remote area so if he ever gets too far for me to catch, alot of harm or even death could occur. The possibility ofinstitutionalizing him has been discussed but we think it might actuallyincrease the speed of his downward slide. The point is my Mom cares for himmore than I thought humanly possible and I can see she is very tired,

any advice ???

Answer: I have a 93 year old grandmother and I have been where your family is. Isypathize with you but it will only get worse. My grandmother has been in2 psychiatric hospitals and 2 new residences since December due todimentia. Prior to that she was at a Senior residence for over a year.Her stable environment did not sotp the disease from progressing. Puttingyour grandfather is a secure environment with others who suffer from thisdisease is the best way to go.

I have been the only care giver for 5 years and the stress became too muchfor me. You cannot help your grandfather but you can help your mom. Finda nice place nearby for him and bring him home (while you can) for visits.

Look for a support group in your area. They can direct you best as to whatto do. There are even group that will watch your grandfather so your momcan get some much needed rest. There might be an AD daycare in your areawhere she can drop him off for a few hours so she can have a break. Thisis a step that can be taken before you institutionalize him completely.