Question:
My partner of 13 years has been diagnosed with aids,since the early 80's, when it was called grid. He has donepretty well (obviously), but has been acting very strangelylately. He was diagnosed with AIDS Dementia about 10 years agofor his qualification to receive full disability, etc. At thattime, he was just experiencing memory loss, etc.

Lately, he is acting much differently. He is accusing me ofdoing things behind his back, he is getting lost driving fromour new home I just bought to our current home. He will ramblefor 20 minutes on a topic that no one gives a about but him.He changes his mind every 5 minutes on issues. Yesterday hestated that he wanted to leave me and live on his own in lowcost housing, wants me to buy him a car...instead of the truck Ihave leased for him and not see me anymore. By the end of theday yesterday, he wanted to live in the addition on the house Ijust bought, then wanted to work things out with me, etc.Supposedly, I am the cause for his unhappiness, although Iprovide everything for him and have for the past 13 years.

I didn't mean to make this so long, but do any of these issuessound like AIDS Dementia to anyone? How do I deal with this?I called his doctor yesterday and they are gonna try to get himto come in for an appt. in about a week, but I am not sure hewill go.

Answer: this doessound similar to what I've seen in other friends who suffered fromAIDS related dementia. I would try and arrange for your partner toundergo a Neuropsychiatric exam as soon as possible. This type of examis generally performed by Psychologists in the US. It tests thepatient for many different symptoms and can be of great use to yourpartners doctor in his efforts to determine if the problems areneurological/physiological or mental in nature. You might also discusshaving a full neurological examination performed. I wish you and yourpartner well, and hope you are able to get him to allow these tests.The longer you postpone diagnosis the greater are the chances thatthings will continue to get worse. Is there someone else that yourpartner may be more likely to take advice from in his current state,if so enlist that person to help in getting across to your partner theimportance of these tests.

I imagine that your experiencing a great deal of stress and hart acheright now, you might consider getting some help for your self duringthese trying times. Dealing with a loved one who is actingirrationally can be very difficult on inexperienced care givers andthe emotional upset you go through can negatively impact your abilityto help your partner, so it's just as important that you get somesupport as it is for him.